Positive Parenting
Good Stuff In - Good Stuff Out!
by Deborah Beasley, ACPI CCPF

Healthy children need healthy things from their parents. Just as the ol’ saying goes: Good stuff in – Good stuff out; and, well…you know the rest.  What is this ‘good stuff ‘you ask? Here are a few hints. 

• It is something all children look for naturally
• It comes in several forms
• Used incorrectly it can strip a child’s power from him
• Used according to directions it can send her soaring to new heights
• The best caregivers do it with creativity and gusto
• And children drink it in like chocolate milk! 

Ready, set, here it is!

• GOOD STUFF #1 – THE WORDS PARENTS SPEAK
  The words parents choose to speak to and about their children have great power over a child’s young mind and heart. As parents we want to teach our children to speak well of themselves and others. We want our children to learn respect. They will be able to do this when they experience their parent or caregiver speaking well of and to them. Remember: Children learn by hearing.
  
• GOOD STUFF #2 – THE THOUGHTS PARENTS THINK
  The quality of thoughts a parent may think about their child will influence the quality of connection and response the parent receives from their child.  When the parent is in the habit of thinking negatively concerning their child this creates negative reciprocal emotions between parent and child. Both parent and child become locked in a repeating and self-propagating loop of negative interactions.  In this case the child feels the negative space between him and his parent. It is not a place of love or support, and he knows it!  As a parent then, you get what you give.
   
  Effective and loving parents will support their growing child through positive internal thought. Parents Beware! It can be contagious! Positive thoughts about your child will become evident to him in the way in which he is treated. He will feel your love and care and become more willing to spend time with you and communicate. Yes, even teenagers! It is the confident and connected child who responds in kind to the parent whose positive thoughts empower and enrich his self-worth. Remember: Children learn through feeling.
  
• GOOD STUFF #3 – THE LOOKS PARENTS GIVE
  A parents ‘look’ in the direction of a child often depends upon the child’s current attitude and behavior. Consider that your child is new to life. Each experience and blunder is hers to make and learn from. Isn’t that how we all grew to be so wise?  Soften your looks toward your child when they are less than perfect. Remember: Children learn through watching.
  
• GOOD STUFF #4 – THE ACTIONS PARENTS TAKE
  Dear Parent. How we live, work, play, think, speak, listen, understand, direct, choose, influence, interact, love, and guide ourselves, others, and most importantly, our children, is within their astute  observations. They see it all and ponder it carefully. Soon, they too, live, work, play, think, speak, listen, understand, direct, choose, influence, interact, love and guide themselves in exactly the manner in which they have been taught. Remember: Children learn through modeling.

CONCLUSION
Healthy children need healthy things from their parents.  Continue stepping up to the plate, parents! Your children are learning!
©2010

Deborah Beasley ACPI CCPF is a Certified Coach serving Families in Gloucester County, New Jersey.  Deborah is an author, presenter, and regular contributor to The Women of Gloucester County online magazine.

She works with biological, adoptive and special needs parents via phone coaching and in-home services. She specializes in helping families repair relationships, manage stress, and implement successful solutions to raising children with behavioral disorders.

Deborah is the owner of Together At Last Family Support and is now accepting registration to her local Fall Parent Enrichment Courses. For specific course information contact Deborah at: www.HowDoesYourChildGrow.wordpress.com and click on the Events Calendar page.  Or Call Deborah at: 609-970-1100.  You are not alone, help is always nearby. It’s as close as your phone!